Be careful with the baby’s soft spot on the top of the head. That small area is sensitive and too much pressure can effect the growing brain. Many of us might have heard that warning when we were younger.
Let me introduce you to the idea of soft spots for adults. You know those spots that have, over the years, become your default button. Those sports that developed as a result of negative events that you experienced as traumatic. The ones that are dangerous for your sense of self worth. The ones that can you, or interrupt your ability to be mindful and present in social interactions. Those spots that threaten your ability to feel calm and confident, while simultaneously alerting you to slow down and listen.
I am not:
tall enough
pretty enough
short enough
smart enough
handsome enough
funny enough
open enough
strong enough
creative enough
successful enough
athletic enough
enough
Do those limiting beliefs sound or feel familiar to you?
What’s challenging is that these soft spots become bigger targets and more sensitive when you are overtired, hungry, experiencing natural hormonal shifts, dealing with life stressors, activated by an interaction, or taking in foods or substances that are toxic for your body.
These spots can be wildly painful! Yet having an awareness of your soft spots means that you have the ability to do something different and perhaps cultivate change.
Here are some practices and resources for decreasing the size and sensitivity of those soft spots:
Have an awareness of your personal soft spots. Just notice them. Be tender and gentle. Show them some compassion. They developed for lots of good reasons.
Ah yes, let them in for tea. Welcome them without judgement. We often spend a lot of time barricading the door to keep them out, and yet they continue knocking. They do so because they have some messages for you.
Play detective. Am I tired, hungry, or under stress at work, home or in my community? Have I experienced some interactions that felt icky for me? Have I consumed foods or other substances that effect me negatively?
Research inflammatory foods, and try eliminating one of those ingredients from your nutrition plan for three weeks. This one is easier if you find a buddy to experiment with you.
Adjust your sleep hygiene routine.https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene
Do something. Eat a healthy snack, hydrate, breathe, use a guided meditation for 5 minutes. https://insighttimer.com Rub your palms together as if you are warming your hands. Tap under your collar bone and breathe for one minute. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0P1vV7-_uTI
Go outside. Take off your shoes and socks and stand on a patch of grass. Take in the earth’s energy. Know that you are rooted to the ground.
Contact a trusted friend for validation or a humor break.
Get playful. Put on your favorite music and dance around the kitchen. Get big!
Do some simple yoga stretches for 5 minutes. http://saltandsandstudios.com
Call in your higher power for support
Contact a practitioner who utilizes techniques that are known to help the brain and body process trauma. The links below will lead you to some of the techniques that are helpful when you are ready.
https://www.havening.se/english
I invite you to start small. Dip your toe in the water first. Some of these practices might feel simple and easy to you, while others might elicit a stronger internal reaction.
Lastly, remember to use the phrase, “right now,” as your guide. “I am feeling “less than,” right now. Just. Right. Now.” Your practices, coupled with a support team, will help you cultivate change. Practice patience. You are already on your way. On your way is a BIG step…well done.